February 2

10 lessons from 10 years of waiting for marriage

I am not the most patient of people. Waiting for marriage proved that clearly and even the years since then have shown that it is an area I need to grow in. Actually, let me rephrase that.

I am now getting better at being patient. Not perfect yet but getting better daily and weekly.

Because I am not perfect at being patient, I have to catch myself when my fast thinking mind wants to run away with me.

Maybe my dad should have given me my younger sister’s name which means patience in English. She seems to embody her name so well.

You can imagine what waiting for marriage must have been like for someone like me; impatient old me, that is.

It was hard! I hated it initially, then whinged, wondered and prayed about it.

Eventually, I accepted that I was in a waiting season and the only Person who could help me to make it through was God.

Now, this doesn’t mean that I didn’t do my part but let me not run away with myself. After about 10 years of highs, lows and everything in between, I got married.

Now that I am on the other side, here are 10 lessons I wish I knew early on. I hope and pray they will help you on your journey.

  1. We will all go through this waiting season, whether it be in months or years. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can enjoy the season.
  2. Just like the four natural seasons have purpose, this waiting season has a purpose. The biggest purpose is to make you more like who God desires you to be.
  3. There are certain activities that we are meant to be doing in the waiting season for it to be fruitful and yield its best results. God won’t do everything for you so, do your part.
  4. The path to marriage will be littered with many distractions (things and people) that can take you off-track. If and when you realise you are off-track, you must get back on track.
  5. Just because society says it is time and you think you are ready for marriage doesn’t mean that God agrees. Ask Him if He thinks you are ready.
  6. There is a process of growth and maturity that we all must go through. It is important to embrace this process if we want to receive and enjoy the marriage God has for us. To not mature is to choose to stay single or get married and struggle.
  7. Your most important relationship in the waiting season will be the one you have with God. It will guide every other relationship, starting with the one with yourself and the one with your husband.
  8. Who you are, that is, your identity, values, morals, character as well as your mindset and beliefs will play a big part in whether this waiting season comes to an end or not.
  9. This waiting season is a trial run for your future marriage. You should practice well.
  10. God can be trusted. What you desire can become reality. I should know as I am living the reality of what I believed. Keep believing.

If you would like to learn more about waiting and dating, you should get my book, Waiting Gracefully HERE


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