4 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married

I am married! Yay!!! Some days, I stare at my hubby and wonder at God’s amazing love for me. Between dating and marriage was all of 14 months! Yes! I know! But hey, people have married in less time so don’t judge me! But all of my years of waiting, preparing, reading and studying didn’t prepare me for my reality. Now don’t get me wrong, marriage is amazing and I love my husband to bits but oh my goodness! Some words have taken on a whole new level of meaning.

Such as that word compromise. I learnt this one quick especially during the wedding planning. People always said to me when I was single ‘you must learn to compromise’. In reality, compromise is hard! Let no one deceive you. It doesn’t come naturally to our selfish nature as humans. Especially if you love having your way most of the time like I did *notice I said did?* I had heard of the word, I hadn’t known what it meant till it was crunch time between having the small romantic wedding I had dreamt of for years and accommodating every family member who wanted to invite all their friends! So in the end, I compromised and you know what, we had an amazing day even though half of the people there I could happily have wished away, lol!

Remember I said earlier I love getting my way most of the time? Well marriage is dealing with that behaviour very quickly. Being single and living alone has its advantages but it also has its downside. I learnt to do things my own way and didn’t have to consider anyone else which ultimately made me get my own way. And to be honest, it was nice living like that till I met and married le beau. The amazing thing is he indulges me a lot, I keep saying I am a spoilt wife but there is spoilt and there is SPOILT. He has this way of putting down his foot that before I can blink, my way is out the window and on route to Manchester! So now, especially with the books, blogs and advice I am getting, I tend to pause when I am going down that ‘my way’ train of thought and think, what would hubby want? Oh and by the way, a great tool to help with this is ‘The Husband Project by Kathi Lipp‘ *thank me later*

Can I just say that prayer and relying on God has taken on a new dimension? I don’t know how people who don’t pray or know God survive but it has been my lifeline, especially when I want to lash out at hubby for something he said or did. The God factor does a lot, especially when I am going off on a tangent and having a sulk. He has this way of gently telling me off and setting me back on track. If you don’t know God, better start to know Him now! You can’t do marriage and life in general without Him, trust me, I am talking from experience!

For all you married women out there, shame on you for not warning a girl that people will stare at my tummy from the day I marry! Gosh! People stare! I mean like stare! And in my mind I am wondering, even if I got pregnant on my wedding night, my tummy won’t be showing yet so why are you staring? For all my females reading this who aren’t married yet, please prepare thyself for THE STARE as I call it. As for me, I have chosen to ignore the stare, life is too short for that kind of pressure.

I could go on and on about the things I have found out in marriage but since it’s the gift that keeps giving, watch this space!