November 13

Is He the One? How Will I Know?


If I was given money every time someone asked me the question, “is he the one?” I would be smiling as I look at my bank balance.

In one session with the ladies in my Unmarried and Rocking It Community, I was asked this question at least four or five times. All the ladies wanted to know how to tell when a man is the one.

I can relate to this question because I had the same question when I was single. Every time I met someone new, I would start to wonder after some interaction with him, if he was the one for me.

But here is the thing; the work to know if he is the one is done before you meet him. Yes, before you meet him.

I know it sounds a bit weird to say that because “you need to meet him before you can decide if he is the one, right?” Well, the truth is, that isn’t quite true.

You know how you need to do groundworks when you are building a house? The foundation is first laid before any physical structure goes up.

The same applies in knowing if he is the one. You don’t meet him and then decide that he is the one.

You first decide who the one for you is. Then you see if the man you meet matches what you know about the man you are supposed to be with.

Doing it this way requires you do to the work upfront but it is so worth it. It saves you from setting up shop at the heartbreak hotel a la Whitney Houston.

Since I want the best for you, I want to share some key things I believe you need to know that will help you make the right choice.

Know who you are

Knowing who you are is so important. Why? Because you want someone who complements you, not completes you. The two are not the same. You are not a broken piece of furniture looking for someone to fix you. You are a whole, complete woman who is looking for someone who sees that and wants it. So get to know you.

Know where you are going in life

If you know where you are going, you are less likely to put down roots at the wrong place. I always use this example to explain this. If you know you are called to do business across continents, do you want to settle with a man who is looking for a housewife? Obviously not. You are both not going in the same direction.

Similar faiths and beliefs

One of the things that causes friction later in marriage is this area. Many a marriage has faced issues because of both parties not being on the same page spiritually or in their beliefs. This is much more than going to the same church. It’s about having the same spiritual beliefs or views about life.

Deal breakers

There’s a popular phrase that says “if you don’t stand for some thing, you will fall for anything.” What will you stand for? Is it no sex before marriage for example, or no physical violence? What is an absolute NO for you? Know it now.


Character is what you will live with everyday so best know what you can and can’t live with. Don’t be that woman that says, I’ll change him in marriage. What if he doesn’t change? What character traits should he have?

By the time you’ve gone through these key things, you are less likely to be confused about The One. You will know what he should look like and recognise him when he turns up.

No more confusion, okay?

If you’d love to learn more about knowing the one for you, then you should sign up to my dating masterclass “The Dating Code.” I go in depth into what qualities to look for, how to navigate the actual date and if he deserves a second date.

Click Here to access the masterclass now.


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