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March 6

My Younger Sister Got Married Before Me. Here’s What I Learned And Did During That Period.

The call came in and my sister was excited. She was getting married! Funny enough, I knew it was coming as God had shown it to me in advance. Thank You Holy Spirit! I was happy for her. This was good news. When the joy of the news waned, many thoughts came flooding in.

“How could this be happening?” I thought I would get married first as the older sibling. I had desired marriage for so long. It seemed God was being unfair to me at the time. My younger sister was the one getting married while I was staring thirty in the face. I remember the feeling in my chest at the time. 

Then I thought of all the comments I would get at the wedding.

“Where is your husband?” “It will soon be your turn.” (Cue the prayers as well). If you are Nigerian, you know what I am talking about. When it comes to being the older single sibling, Nigerians seem to lack tact. By the way, I did get the comments and the gossip. 

With all that said, here’s what I learned at the time. 

  1. Our life paths are different. God’s plan for each of us won’t always follow the same trajectory and that is okay. His plan is good, no matter the path we take ~ Jeremiah 29:11. This mindset helped me take off the pressure. 
  2. My joy was not determined by my younger sister getting married. So, I rejoiced with those who were rejoicing – Romans 12:15. There was no point being down in the dumps about it. Plus rejoicing showed God my heart and maturity. 
  3. I can and should prepare myself for the ceremonies and determine my response in advance. This helped me not feel triggered by any and every comment. I trained myself to smile and move on from any comments that weren’t helpful or uplifting. 

In practical terms, here is what I did: 

  1. I prayed for them as a couple, their marriage and the wedding and marriage. In doing so, I took the focus from me and put it on them. I made declarations about them every day for 4 months straight. 
  2. I actively took part in helping and supporting where I could. As my sister lived in another country, I couldn’t do everything but where I could help, I did. 
  3. On the days of the ceremonies, I danced, laughed and celebrated with them with a heart full of joy. I’m sure people thought I was faking it but I wasn’t. I did my internal work and was determined to have a good day which I did. 

Here is what I need you to know.

Your younger sibling getting married before you isn’t the end of the world. Don’t let anyone make you feel that it is. Instead, see it as a chance to gain a sibling and become an aunty which is one of the best roles in the world. With your nieces and nephews, you are way cooler than mummy and daddy. 

By the way, weddings have a way of piling on the pressure. Click HERE to get my free resource, Dealing With Pressure.


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