I recently spoke to some ladies, asking what their single biggest problem was in this season. There were several responses but I want to touch on one that I got; meeting men.
“I am not meeting men and the ones I am meeting don’t want to commit.”
As you read this, does this sound familiar or do you have a different problem?
I’d love to know, please tell me by emailing me.
As I listened and read the responses, I got a headache. That’s how much it hurt, hearing the pain you and women like you are facing right now. It can feel like a tough journey to marriage.
The more I listened to or read the women’s responses, the more I ached. I had to go to bed because I was that affected by what they were sharing with me. It brought back memories for me but also, reminded me why I do what I do.
The next morning, I woke up and all that I had been told came flooding back. Before I could become overwhelmed again, I turned to God and asked Him a simple question.
“How can I help my single sisters?”
If you don’t ask, you don’t get a response, right? Well, I asked and I got. Here’s what He shared with me.

Focus on what is within your control.
I know that sounds too simple but God doesn’t do complicated. It can be frustrating not meeting men or to meet them and they drag things out without saying anything.
When they finally say something, they usually use the line “it’s not you, it’s me.” (Yes, it is you sir *rolls eyes*).
You cannot control another person. The only person you can control is yourself, so start with yourself. Use this season to focus on you and what you want.
Here are some questions that you can answer to get you started.
- What do I want to do?
- Where do I want to go?
- What activities do I want to try?
- What kind of woman do I want to become?
Those are things that are within your control so focus on them. Write the answers out and then brainstorm ideas on how you can achieve what you want. Once you have a list of ideas, pick one and get going.
That’s what helps you make it through this waiting season. Now that you know this, what will you be focusing on?
Whatever it is, draw up a plan to act on in the next week.
PS: By the way, you don’t need many men, only your husband. If you would like to learn how to meet and attract your husband, then sign up for my Waiting Gracefully Program.